Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Liver Sports

as many of the one of you reading this may know, I'm somewhat of a fan of organized sportscrime. I've maintained a lifetime loyalty to the Fredo Corleone of baseball teams, the Boston Red Sox. I tell you this only to introduce you to a little segmentia that will appear here from time to time called... Liver Sports. Though I may refer to sports crap in other blurtations of mine on here, I'll try to keep my pitches exclusively for Liver Sports. I've got shitloads to mention from the last 2 jam-filled days, but as I'm barely able to follow through on a single (let alone double, triple or tater) thought right now due to extreme I'm-so-fucking-tiredness, this seems like an opportune time to talk a little sports, for one doesn't have to necessarily follow though on a damn thing when talkign sports. Ok, first of all, how cool is Johnny Damon's hair man? I mean, have you ever seen a ballplayer (with the possible exception of Oscar gamble circa the late 70's), or anyone in sports for that matter since Bjorn Borg and Vitas Ger..uh..lieyiyightudes (sp?), let his "do" flow like that? Red Sox nation affectionately calls him "centerfield caveman" or more recently, "the passion of Damon", and though hair follicle frenzy has spread to other members of the club (the Pedro fro, Manny mane, Bellhorn hairhat, and even Millar lite), I just gotta give props to the guy. As they get their asses handed to them on a platter at the stadium from A-Rod is for Asshole-Rod, Shutthefuckupyoucantfield, Giambalco, the Posada needsdentures and Jeter etcetera, I can at least look at Johnny on the spot with pride, knowing that the Boss would never allow such a freak in his clubhouse... speaking of Giambi, who obviously drools at Johnnys hair supply, wassup with this parasite thing he's got? Man, he looked like dog dick warmed over when they showed him in the dugout. Is he having withdrawal from roids you think?, or did he just swallow the worm at Jeter's 30th birthday party the other night?... Mike Tyson. Apparently Iron Bar Mike has mellowed out now, taking tons of prozac or something, and some anti-psychotic pills I'm sure, but I just wanted to comment on the report that he'd been staying in a shelter cuz he's flat broke. Please. Give me a break. This mofo is gonna clean-up millions in a month when he fights again, I mean do me right or do me wrong? I'm supposed to give this neanderthal Brian Wilson meets Tweety Bird vs. King Kong hybrid my sympathy vote? Where's James Bonecrusher Smith when you need him fix that freak a can o' whup-ass?... Ok, as I'm about to hit the canvas myself, I'll just leave you this hungry thought: chow on a T-Mac Yao Ming combo tomorrow, and then perhaps you'll Phil up with a Knick Marbury pie and chocolate Shaq for dessert. The LaKOBers may have Pistoned their dynasty away...

*Two non-Liver Sports thoughts:
(1) does anyone really read the NY Press, and if so, why?
(2) how has that store Daphy's lynched mannequins gone unnoticed for so long? (see worst example at the back of their store at Crosby and Grand)

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