Tuesday, December 29, 2009

No, I REALLY suck at blogging

But I like to write. My friend Daniella inspired me last night to write some more. I've been stuck in this notion that because I act, draw and write songs (or used to), that my writing must be fictional (i.e. a screenplay or play). My best writing though (besides said songs) has been my opinion-based verbal rants that have found themselves on social networking site profiles, in spotty reviews I've done, and, well, here. What's wrong with that? Nothing. It's just the discipline to keep doing it (and for free to boot), that I lack. Baby steps I suppose. I also have been having some of the most wack dreams ever of late and would like to share some of them here... when I remember them past the few post-wake up moments where I've risen and said "whoa, that was wack".

Before leaving you with a few doodles I've doodled and/or photos I've snapped, this has been a very weird week for me. Hell, the last 2 months (let alone, year, lifetime) have been weird... let's just focus on this Holiday season, I don't have the time right now to delve into the rest. After my first Thanksgiving spent at a non-relative's place, I thought Christmas would be more of the same from years past (i.e spent with family). My sis and I had a tiff a few months back over money and perhaps that led me to not get a plane ticket early to visit her (as has been my Christmas case the past few years). The real reason though was simply lack of funds: not getting paid for work done moons ago. I ended up spending Christmas here in NYC. Yes, Christmas eve and Christmas day eve were spent with family (before they hightailed it outa town), but the days after were when I felt alone. I always took those days for granted I guess, they were simply the 26th and 27th of December... not so anymore. Those days are as much Christmas as the 24th and 25th. What did I do the eve of the 26th? I went to see the depressing flick "A Single Man" at 1145pm. For a few minutes there I thought this choice was a bad omen as well as I was the ONLY person in the audience (and a single man no less), until a couple couples walked in after the film started... phew!

The next day was ok, as was the day after-thanks mostly to some wonderful drink dates with new friends... Ok, so has not really been a great story, or even perhaps writing worthy of an active mind, but rehashing the last few months is not really what I'm feeling right now. I simply want to write something here, today, anything, to get the juices flowing, comprendo? I believe I've now accomplished that, and will henceforth leave you with a few doodles (that I've already posted on Facebook... but then again, if you're not my friend there, you wouldn't have seen 'em) and simply say that I do believe that 2010 will be a dandy of a year, and as Paul Krugman noted in his recent NY Times Op ed article, "Let’s bid a NOT at all fond farewell to the Big Zero", meaning the last decade. 2009, and, well, pretty much the entire 2000's up til now have been sketchy to say the least. "Snot" was born during this decade because times got so tough, and that was well before THE recession. Glad they're gonna be over. Boy am I. 2010 is gonna see me get closer to where I wanna be, both in my professional and personal life. I can tell, esp. because of the weird, lonely, poor, contemplative lead-up I've experienced of late, and some of the resolutions I've already made concerning what I need to do in 2010 and beyond... Now, if I can just get my ass outa this chair.

Rock n' roll.