Tuesday, June 22, 2004

i fucked up an omelet... "I bet it sucks"

i did. it was good though, magnificent in fact, and so needed to cure the whiskey hang i had from our weird show at the stinger. flop of a night, but i manged to get past all the obvious detrimental elements and throw a little passion into my rant near the end. i love playing my tune "chihuahua" (derived from the former "mango chutney" from the band of assholes/lit house band i used to play in). oddly, when my song lyrix blew accross grand street gig prior and john and i went to haul 'em in, this was the only tune missing. i'll probably hear them in some song by tv on the radio soon or something. below are a few lines from the ditty, this is the first time i'm putting my lyrix on here... a momentous occasion to be sure:

so socratic preacher
ya got everything but
can't digest the hand that's feeding you
little schnozzle rauser
go mango chutzpah remember now who's been leading who

speaking of former bands, i was informed that for the first week of this blahgs existence i spelled suede as swede. guess i'm not totally over the unnerving way my membership in the swedes came to its demise. god, what a moron that drummer they have is... and he certainly doesn't deserve that gorgeous girlfriend he has... man what i could do with her. this leads me to the "I bet it sucks" part in this post's header. which does not refer to beaten eggwhites, but to the posting at www.jessydelfino.blogspot.com see below:
"everyone is now starting blogs. I started mine over a year ago, and since then, a dozen or more of my friends have called me, dropping the exciting news in my lap, "I started a blog!" as if I am going to cheer proudly into the phone and welcome them to the club. Blogs have been around for awhile. It's about time you fag asses are getting with the program. As if there aren't enough sorry assholes out there posting graphic details of their tittilating lives on-line for all the world to read and contemplate over chips or a blow job.

Chelsea Peretti - Chelsea's Blog (I bet it sucks)
Jim Norton - I don't know, google his name or go to Norton's website. (I bet it sucks)
Alex Emanuel (my roommate) - Alex's blog (I bet it sucks)

Don't say you weren't warned. In all reality, Chelsea and Jim are two of the funniest, smartest people I know, so I doubt their blogs suck. I've never read anything Alex has written, but he seems smart as well. I just met him a few months ago when I moved into his apartment after we met on Craigslist. (He's cute and single, so he's probably a killer.) I imagine that Chelsea's blog is full of multiple entries, mostly sarcastic observations about things like pencils and her hair, each wittier and more clever than the next, when she should be doing actual work. And Jim's blog is surely full of mockery and insults about other people's blogs. Alex's blog is called "You Can't Get Snot Out Of A Suede Jacket" or something like that, so I'm gonna guess it's a diary of all the chicks he has banged and murdered. I'll have to actually go to them and read them, and then I'll come back and write some real reviews. But, I bet without even looking I'm right."
well jessica my dear, you're wrong. it's not all about chix i've banged and murdered... yet.

actually, it never will be. as i don't ever plan to murder a chick. hell, they're part of my core readership (or lack thereof). i'm really only intent on offing a head of state, or someone that could garner me some publicity... ok, whoa there a minute, before i lose you entirely, i am not serious about all this murder talk of course. i mean really now, that's all been done anyway. i'll only be killing the english language here... now, as to banging chix, come on! that is a part of life for a straight male, isn't it? whether you agree with me on that one or not, you will not hear me describe any sexual exploits in any amount of detail here, i promise you that, esp. as those tasty tidbits of tantalizing tubuler traversion are only for the ears of my good buddy miguel lyonne (unless of course you ask, but that would mean that someone other than me would have to read this thing, which seems highly doubtful at this rate).

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