Wednesday, June 16, 2004

cry me an east river full of white alligator shit grady

so my apt. was broken into yesterday. a slew of stuff was taken. until i found out that my friend ("porno" comedienne singer/songwriter performing artist Jessica- had borrowed a couple of champagne glasses for her hosting extravaganza at ps122, i actually thought that the thieving puss hole that had broken in had some taste to go along with his love of everything easily sellable on the street (my laptop, digital camera, 35 mm camera, polaroid camera, everything that ever had to do with my fucking wanting to use a camera). no such luck. it made off with all that, plus the one "kenneth cole" anything i had-a black leather briefcase my mom had gotten me-and my softball bat. yes, you heard that correctly, my softball bat. i like to think that he at least might have struck out with it a few times, or grounded into a double play or better yet took it to his own head or something. i was in a shit mood all day as i had to work knowing that that had just happened and i hadn't yet been able to call the cops. that surreal moment came later, but i have to say that that's been the highlight of my week thus far-shooting the shit with a couple of coppers who were like the 2 right outa sanford and son ( there was a mute short black woman with nice, warm eyes and cotton in one ear, and a red faced stacey keach looking super-affable guy who gave me lotsa shit in fun for being a red sox fan. he actually looked exactly like that reliever the yanks had with the flat top and mustache, ______ nelson or something-the guy who kicked the shit out of a fan with karim garcia in the fens bullpen after pedro and the gerble went head to head... you know the guy. anyway, talking a little yanks-sox with him broke the ice, and kinda took me away. it's only too bad i didn't have my digital camera anymore, b/c they woulda made my book. he blurted out a nice homer simpson "doat!" when i touched the doorknob accidentally as we waited for the figerprinting duo. in all, there were 6 cops in my pad late last night, including a very barney miller-esqe sarge. I almost offered them a coctail, though wasn't sure whether that would be appropriate. "woja-ho-witz" (just wanted to say that).

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