(so said Lenny Bruce), and believe you me, I've tried. I had one of those Tonto suede fringe jackets when I was a lil' toughskin tyke. Anyway, this page isn't about mucoid removal, but merely a platform where I, Rollo Manhattan, "pick" my brain, comment on said pickage, and throw stuff out there to see what lands. Even with all them new-fangled iGadgets and such, it's gotten harder over the last buncha years NOT to wear stuff on one's sleeve, let alone get off, so try here I shall. Get along...
Saturday, February 03, 2007
kitty litter? ... rock n' roll hoochie koo
Ok, so if you're just joining snot (and lets' face it, the only people tuning in here are those just joined, as I basically let everyone else fly after 13 inactive months), you'll probably think that I'm a whiner, a ranter, bitter, etc. Well, you're right (and fuck Dennis Miller).
So, now that we've gotten that cleared up, here's a short blurb (or catcall) b4 I head out on the town (it's freaking fashion week... again, and again): any of you see that lil' news item in Da Post (my fave shit rag to find crap in), titled "Cat-astrophe"? Thank you Post-ops for printing it, nice to know there's a heart beating behind your fascistic skin, and not only the snap of a wanker yanking his lil' prick. Basically, for those who didn't see the article, it reported that a bunch of homeless people had their pet cats ripped from their hands recently while they were squatting in a shelter, b/c "city rules" says that for some reason or other pets aren't allowed on shelter premises (or for folks who can't afford 'em now I guess?). Fifteen or so felines were abducted by enforcement at the Hells Kitchen hotel, and most likely taken to their deaths, or a neighborhood chicken restaurant. "It's like losing family" said one homeless resident. Damn... I can imagine. If my mothers 2 lil' dogs or cats were taken from her she'd be devastated beyond belief...
Now, I'm sorry, but what does this lil' story here tell you? I'll tell you what, and I'm no conspiracy theorist (who has time to actually theorize these days? I mean I can barely count to 2 anymore), but it categorically says that the bloody apocolypse is coming, that's what, I mean don't it?!?! This is the catastasis; Felix the cat now, Felix the human tomorrow. Have we become Gestapo, bustin' into peoples environments (wherever they may be, cathouse, catacomb, cathedral, whatever) and taking family members we deem inappropriate? We tap your phones, now let's snap (up) your pets? Hey, I don't give a cat's ass whether this was at a city-owned shelter or not, it's still the peoples' city isn't it? It's still the peoples' country isn't it? Isn't it? Riddle me that Cat Man, cuz we're in a bad way, whether you choose to close each cat's-eye to that fact or not. The lord of my expensive slum tries to evict its tenants when we're 2 weeks late with rent, gives you 7 days to pay or move out... that's potentially catastrophic, no? If that approach were rampid? Where's the litter to soak up the pain, yo? Let's start showing a little more humanity again in this country, shall we, I mean how much can it hurt us (to care)? Are we worried that that'll cost us too much of our precious money? Call me negative, and I say in return that the bad attitude toward our own lesser fortunate brothers and sisters that's permeating the world these days smacks me as being postively evil, the nadir of negativity. I know rules are rules, but they can be broken, just like pets. What were these "enforcers" worried about, an outbreak of cat scratch fever? Hell, I know someone who had that, and it sucked, but that's hardly the pandemic we should all be scratching each others eyes out over now is it? Love thy neighbor (gag if you want, but that concept is not what stinks these days)...
One last thing, totally off the subject: Even though I had "The Stranger" (or my brother did) when I was a kid, I've always been one to call Billy Joel "The Antichrist" since then, encountering much negativity from people who grew up listening to the guy (and who put him on a pedestal next to Dylan, Young, Springsteen, Reed, etc. , instead of the stinker I thought him to be). I mean, even when "Moving Out" came out on Broadway, this guy still held a place in peoples' hearts. Well, no longer (do I think him the Antichrist). Like Reed (who's been cleared just b/c he was Bowie, Iggy and Patty's friend, and hasn't seemed as publically pretentious the last few years), Joel has gotten a hall (not Rock Hall) pass from me, for the song "It's Still Rock n' Roll To Me". Prior to tonight, he, Phil Collins and John Cougar Mellonhead were duking it our for putz of that decade. Now, the resurrected diddy I mentioned is no "Rock n' Roll" (Reed's opus, or homage or something), but the sentiment is there, I agree with it, and the tune plain moves. I heard it tonight @ Motor City, and it's place in the '80's catalogue made sense again. Plus, it warmed me once again to the drunk who wrote it (another trait I now appreciate Billy for... btw, I hear that Joel keeps a grand piano @ the halfway house he frequents when not crashing cars from downing too many bottles of red and bottles of white). Again, before this eve I acknowledged the Piano Man only for spawning that cute, short keys playin' chick of a daughter he has with Christie "Sports Illustrated Uptown Vacation Girl Swimsuit Model" Brinkley. Strange how you can all of a sudden be corrected one day (as I've been) after experiencing an elongated disgust w/ someone... Now, as for that girl recently who was trying to sell me on Rudy Guliani, fuck that shit. Maybe "hiz boner" cleaned up the streets in NYC and rose tall when the towers fell, but that guy is a creep. I saw him in person once, @ a Matzah Ball eating contest no less, and was struck by his huge noggen (thankfully, not physically), but if he becomes president, we all better whatch our cats an' more, cuz our civil liberties are doomed.
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