Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Six-fingered closers (and other tales of human oddity and competition)

Ok Liver Sport fans, and just about everybody else out there in blogland-first, gotta apologize profusely to all those who stopped whatever they were doing at some point on saturday to tune into "snot" only to find that, no, I did not write the RNC recap as advertised. This weekend I did just about nothing in fact, as that's one one is supposed to do over labor day weekend, right? reliving the living hell that was the convention... well, I just couldn't go there. I do plan to collect all my notes thpough and do you right Tuesday (er...today). basically, what i am going to present to you are the low lights from my corner of the RNC, splashed with a few other observations from this unfortunate period in American history. Before I pass out though (as RM needs his beauty sleep yo), I will tell you about the weirdest Liver Sport story to come my way in a while. Did you know that there are to relievers in Baseball with 6 fingers on each hand? These 2 relievers with the extra digits are closers no less, and top-notch ones to boot, they're: (first names left off for privacy... yeah right) Alfonseca on the Marlins (48 whopping saves last year) and Rodriquez on the Giants. Can they grip the ball better with these extra fingers? How about a bat, or their own bats for that matter? What do these players wives think? Hmmmm... Are there other players with 6 fingers? I dunno, but I, like the awestruck ESPN radio jock who I heard this story from, am freaked out by this. Should there be an asterisk by their records? Just picturing these hands give me the heebee-jeebies, reminded me of that flick with Gwyneth Paltrow, Jack Black and Jason Alexander, when George Costanza shows his tale.... Yyyeeechhhh!!! Ok, enough of that. Weird stuff is happening in Baseball-a pennent race is heating up at the same time as this Presidential race, as my fave Red Sox are like all of a sudden the best team in Baseball, as if Nomar was the curse himself, and Joe Torre and the Yanks are trying to cheat wins since their stupid pitcher broke his hand punchin' a wall (if he had 6 fingers, he mighta been ok) by cryin' UNFAIR to Sox players who are not getting fined and the Tampa Bay Devil Rays team for showing up late from the Hurricane b/c "the only thing that entered (their) mind(s) were being with (their) families". That sounds like a good excuse to me Joe. Aww, what's the matter? King George getting on your back? Well, before I segue into that other George (not Costanza or Steinbrenner) but W, for "wimp", I have to rest my head... and just as I was getting going too! Man oh man, dredging up those RNC memories is going to be fun. Squeeze me into your lunch break today, ok? G'night.

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