Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Freddie Ljungberg models underwear for Calvin Klein but has no interest in making the leap to movies

Rapper? No. Diaper? Perhaps. Anyway, this was a fridge favorite like the Keef quote (ask me about those, or just come over), and I thought it to be timeless enough to start today's blog. Where to begin, where to begin... Hmmmm. Well, for starters, there are only 2 days to see me act in the Fringe Fest play Live Coverage: this Wed. @ 445pm and Sunday @ noon. NYTheatre.com's Judith Jarosz said I was "hilarious" if that makes any difference...

Rollo, the band, is playing a Rare, much Cooler than last week, FREE gig at The Lakeside Lounge this Friday night 8/27 sometime after 10pm. Let's face it, last week's gig sucked the big one-that place (the old Cooler) has no business booking cool bands, being the bridge and tunnel cheese factory that it is. This week, however, rollo continues on it's summer NYC tour by hitching a ride on the Lakeside Hayride, and wrenchin' the raunch outa the ranch that has been a fave nitespot for Yeast Villagers for years now. You know lakeside-a kick-ass jukebox, Rheingold Beer, Photo Booth-never thought I'd be in a band that could play there... now we'll see if we get asked back, as we loud yo. Lakeside, for the uninitiated, is on Ave. B just north of 10th Street, so come on down, and hoop and hollar like a buncha extras on Hee-Haw as we shake, rattle and Rollo...

On to other thangs. Gene Simmons (of KISS) is voting for Bush. F*cking tool, you'd figure he'd be up for masking the truth. I wonder if paul Stanley and his undevelopped ear he's always hid under his locks is joining suit. I'm sure Ace Freehley's voting for Kerry... anyone know?
Yo, can we put a swift end to this embarrassing Kerry smear campaign by the GOP and focus on the two devistating situations that are really getting out of control; namely our present Vietnam in Iraq, and the economic swoon that's rotting our country here? Let's please recognize that these are the wars that need to be won right now. We already lost in Vietnam, and then suffered a shit economic period in the 70's. isn't that enough symbolism? Let's be in the here and now in this election. Bush-we know you want to bring us back to the age of Mussolini, but recalling Nixon might not fare good for you buddy in the long run. Kerry-I love McGovern, and think Johnson was cool, esp. when he grew his hair long, but let's stay the course, ok? Don't feed the fuckers. The helmet is not too big for you...

Michelle Malkin: shut up and pose for Playboy already.

Former Mayor Ed Koch: shut up and pose for Playgirl already.

Recently, after a scare about "Killer Mold", reports said that the growing concern is overblown. Perhaps, but as someone who had a mold allergy once for a few months, I'll say that that shit scares me. That was the worst sickness I've ever had-felt like what a stroke might "feel" like w/out paralysis. I had this allergy a few years back, and could never quite explain the misery to others. Look, don't go there. Airborne mold should be used as a f*ckin' chemical weapon as far as I'm concerned-would drive those inflicted who are lesser physical specimins than myself to taking their own lives. Stock up on Vitamin C with Querciten and Echinacea (I don't care how to spell either of these words-you know what I mean), in case the epidemic hits. You've been forwarned.

In honor of Al Dvorin: Rollo Manhattan has left the building (and really, not a moment too soon, as the building was falling in all around me. My synapses today are about as unconnected as modernday Elvis Bill Clinton and his wife Hillary). Anyway, nothing else really doing, so I'm ending. I may hit Happy Ending tonight. Truthfully, I've been stressed-out about money like a mofo of late. I'm no longer working at that sweatshop restaurant, and all I seem to do is send out packages for my music and acting like they're going out of style. Thank God the women folk still see the Elvis in me. I did finally get to the goddamn beach Sunday, but only to have my last visual there be not the beautiful waves, shiny sand and sunny skies, but some old guys monstrous, otherworldly, diseased whale-worm penis hanging down from his beach chair. Porno star to-be, perhaps (if a chopped-off one can make the cut, this mongo martian man-meat on an old gay guy surely can), but he will not be modeling for Calvin Klein anytime soon. Wo.


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