in Chief Cumquat... Ok, so I'm the first to admit that my last few "resentries" if you will have been for shit. About this time of year I always start to lose it, and it doesn't help that this year the fan seems to be spraying shit at me like it's going out of style, as if my dificult time this past Spring was enough for me to say, "hey, turn off that shit spraying fan already!". Perhaps if I get evicted from the Pitts I'll end up in a beautiful downtown Zoloft, who knows? I was thinking about Marvelous Marvin Gaye's classic "What's Going On?" today as I said to myself precisely that on the eve of the Big Apple elephant stampede, and I thought to myself; ok, this guy had enough problems growing up with the double negative name Marvin and Gaye, and then when he overcomes those hurdles and becomes famous, he's still perplexed by all the inequality and injustice in the world. He ends up losing lifes battle at a fairly young age, as a pretty miserable guy. Maybe the Detroit Lions should ahve just let him try out as he'd always wanted-he could have at least gone out with a smile on his face if he'd been sacked by some humongous tackle...
Today, a day after waking up pissed off at the thought of this particular smarmy dishonest brat who seems to be in it only for herself, I wake up feeling suffocated by more examples of how I seem to consistently meet the wrong people who have no drive to market and promote art we're making together, as an unpleasant realization from the last night remains stuck to the lining of my mouth like, well, you know, like something that would do such a thing (I ran out of shit adjectives). So, what do I do? I turn on the tele only to hear more crap about indifference and injustice. First, I hear about some poor Dad who lights himself up after getting word from the Army that his son is yet another casualty of this faulty war in Iraq, then, I see a piece on "The Don and Army Abu Ghraib Show" where a Millitary Intelliegnce officer seems so conditioned to seeing us commit injustice that he basically comes off as a dead human being, devoid of remorse, saying to an extent "c'est la vie" about the atrocities he witnessed in the prison. Then, I hear that the census numbers have been released, and though they report that the # of Americans uninsured and living in poverty has increased for the 3rd straight year by like 1.5 million, these reports are rushed out a month early for poilitcal reasons so that by the end of the GOP convention, no one will even rememeber them...
I need a breather, more in minute.
Ok, minute taken... So, I'm walking home and in one minute (another minute, not the taken minute) I see a model kid with fake greazy black hair, Don Johnson shadow and night sunglasses, posing with a cig welcoming hipsters into the Johnsons, a PBR bar supposed to look like the 70's style rec room he never had in high school, and in the next minute I see an old lady on all fours trying to unscrunch a Pabst can on the street surrounded by a pile of waste and excrement... Then I'm walking, and I overhear this tanned young couple talking: "he's done so much acid that he looks like Charles Manson"... Who do I think of? GW Bush. yeah, I've got him on the brain I suppose, but when i see this guy, he reminds me of this little blonde drummer kid I knew at school who sold coke. He had this inanimate nose-looked like it was constantly stuffed up, or that you could poke it and he wouldn't feel it. That's what our resident President looks liek to me, that guy, Johnny Blow, or whatever, Charles Manson the ski instructor...
Apparently, bald Rock Star Moby is best friends with near-bald Senator John McCain's son Sid McCain... strange world they live in. This is not the world I live in, though I have to pay taxes in their world. I wonder what sort of nothing Sid McCain is doing with his life? That's really what most of those kids do, right? Nothing? I hear that Mary Kate Olsen and her fatter sister were asked to introduce the talented Bush twins at the convention of lost souls next week, but their PR person turned Satan down, saying that Mary Kate was still recovering from her disorder. Apparently, Lucifer responded something to the extent of "there'll be plenty to eat" at the Bush Bonanza. Bad taste...
Who's seen those magazine ads for AXE deoderant? You know the ones that say "Dry Pits Win", with a sitting cg armpit (that looks like a pussy) being scratched by a hot chick holding a glass of vino? What the? That ad made me sick when I saw it...
Oh there's so little more to say and so much more time to say it, or... the opposite of that entirely. You guys have been great, I couldn't have done nothign with out you. Sleepy time time time.
Friday, August 27, 2004
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Freddie Ljungberg models underwear for Calvin Klein but has no interest in making the leap to movies
Rapper? No. Diaper? Perhaps. Anyway, this was a fridge favorite like the Keef quote (ask me about those, or just come over), and I thought it to be timeless enough to start today's blog. Where to begin, where to begin... Hmmmm. Well, for starters, there are only 2 days to see me act in the Fringe Fest play Live Coverage: this Wed. @ 445pm and Sunday @ noon. NYTheatre.com's Judith Jarosz said I was "hilarious" if that makes any difference...
Rollo, the band, is playing a Rare, much Cooler than last week, FREE gig at The Lakeside Lounge this Friday night 8/27 sometime after 10pm. Let's face it, last week's gig sucked the big one-that place (the old Cooler) has no business booking cool bands, being the bridge and tunnel cheese factory that it is. This week, however, rollo continues on it's summer NYC tour by hitching a ride on the Lakeside Hayride, and wrenchin' the raunch outa the ranch that has been a fave nitespot for Yeast Villagers for years now. You know lakeside-a kick-ass jukebox, Rheingold Beer, Photo Booth-never thought I'd be in a band that could play there... now we'll see if we get asked back, as we loud yo. Lakeside, for the uninitiated, is on Ave. B just north of 10th Street, so come on down, and hoop and hollar like a buncha extras on Hee-Haw as we shake, rattle and Rollo...
On to other thangs. Gene Simmons (of KISS) is voting for Bush. F*cking tool, you'd figure he'd be up for masking the truth. I wonder if paul Stanley and his undevelopped ear he's always hid under his locks is joining suit. I'm sure Ace Freehley's voting for Kerry... anyone know?
Yo, can we put a swift end to this embarrassing Kerry smear campaign by the GOP and focus on the two devistating situations that are really getting out of control; namely our present Vietnam in Iraq, and the economic swoon that's rotting our country here? Let's please recognize that these are the wars that need to be won right now. We already lost in Vietnam, and then suffered a shit economic period in the 70's. isn't that enough symbolism? Let's be in the here and now in this election. Bush-we know you want to bring us back to the age of Mussolini, but recalling Nixon might not fare good for you buddy in the long run. Kerry-I love McGovern, and think Johnson was cool, esp. when he grew his hair long, but let's stay the course, ok? Don't feed the fuckers. The helmet is not too big for you...
Michelle Malkin: shut up and pose for Playboy already.
Former Mayor Ed Koch: shut up and pose for Playgirl already.
Recently, after a scare about "Killer Mold", reports said that the growing concern is overblown. Perhaps, but as someone who had a mold allergy once for a few months, I'll say that that shit scares me. That was the worst sickness I've ever had-felt like what a stroke might "feel" like w/out paralysis. I had this allergy a few years back, and could never quite explain the misery to others. Look, don't go there. Airborne mold should be used as a f*ckin' chemical weapon as far as I'm concerned-would drive those inflicted who are lesser physical specimins than myself to taking their own lives. Stock up on Vitamin C with Querciten and Echinacea (I don't care how to spell either of these words-you know what I mean), in case the epidemic hits. You've been forwarned.
In honor of Al Dvorin: Rollo Manhattan has left the building (and really, not a moment too soon, as the building was falling in all around me. My synapses today are about as unconnected as modernday Elvis Bill Clinton and his wife Hillary). Anyway, nothing else really doing, so I'm ending. I may hit Happy Ending tonight. Truthfully, I've been stressed-out about money like a mofo of late. I'm no longer working at that sweatshop restaurant, and all I seem to do is send out packages for my music and acting like they're going out of style. Thank God the women folk still see the Elvis in me. I did finally get to the goddamn beach Sunday, but only to have my last visual there be not the beautiful waves, shiny sand and sunny skies, but some old guys monstrous, otherworldly, diseased whale-worm penis hanging down from his beach chair. Porno star to-be, perhaps (if a chopped-off one can make the cut, this mongo martian man-meat on an old gay guy surely can), but he will not be modeling for Calvin Klein anytime soon. Wo.
Rollo, the band, is playing a Rare, much Cooler than last week, FREE gig at The Lakeside Lounge this Friday night 8/27 sometime after 10pm. Let's face it, last week's gig sucked the big one-that place (the old Cooler) has no business booking cool bands, being the bridge and tunnel cheese factory that it is. This week, however, rollo continues on it's summer NYC tour by hitching a ride on the Lakeside Hayride, and wrenchin' the raunch outa the ranch that has been a fave nitespot for Yeast Villagers for years now. You know lakeside-a kick-ass jukebox, Rheingold Beer, Photo Booth-never thought I'd be in a band that could play there... now we'll see if we get asked back, as we loud yo. Lakeside, for the uninitiated, is on Ave. B just north of 10th Street, so come on down, and hoop and hollar like a buncha extras on Hee-Haw as we shake, rattle and Rollo...
On to other thangs. Gene Simmons (of KISS) is voting for Bush. F*cking tool, you'd figure he'd be up for masking the truth. I wonder if paul Stanley and his undevelopped ear he's always hid under his locks is joining suit. I'm sure Ace Freehley's voting for Kerry... anyone know?
Yo, can we put a swift end to this embarrassing Kerry smear campaign by the GOP and focus on the two devistating situations that are really getting out of control; namely our present Vietnam in Iraq, and the economic swoon that's rotting our country here? Let's please recognize that these are the wars that need to be won right now. We already lost in Vietnam, and then suffered a shit economic period in the 70's. isn't that enough symbolism? Let's be in the here and now in this election. Bush-we know you want to bring us back to the age of Mussolini, but recalling Nixon might not fare good for you buddy in the long run. Kerry-I love McGovern, and think Johnson was cool, esp. when he grew his hair long, but let's stay the course, ok? Don't feed the fuckers. The helmet is not too big for you...
Michelle Malkin: shut up and pose for Playboy already.
Former Mayor Ed Koch: shut up and pose for Playgirl already.
Recently, after a scare about "Killer Mold", reports said that the growing concern is overblown. Perhaps, but as someone who had a mold allergy once for a few months, I'll say that that shit scares me. That was the worst sickness I've ever had-felt like what a stroke might "feel" like w/out paralysis. I had this allergy a few years back, and could never quite explain the misery to others. Look, don't go there. Airborne mold should be used as a f*ckin' chemical weapon as far as I'm concerned-would drive those inflicted who are lesser physical specimins than myself to taking their own lives. Stock up on Vitamin C with Querciten and Echinacea (I don't care how to spell either of these words-you know what I mean), in case the epidemic hits. You've been forwarned.
In honor of Al Dvorin: Rollo Manhattan has left the building (and really, not a moment too soon, as the building was falling in all around me. My synapses today are about as unconnected as modernday Elvis Bill Clinton and his wife Hillary). Anyway, nothing else really doing, so I'm ending. I may hit Happy Ending tonight. Truthfully, I've been stressed-out about money like a mofo of late. I'm no longer working at that sweatshop restaurant, and all I seem to do is send out packages for my music and acting like they're going out of style. Thank God the women folk still see the Elvis in me. I did finally get to the goddamn beach Sunday, but only to have my last visual there be not the beautiful waves, shiny sand and sunny skies, but some old guys monstrous, otherworldly, diseased whale-worm penis hanging down from his beach chair. Porno star to-be, perhaps (if a chopped-off one can make the cut, this mongo martian man-meat on an old gay guy surely can), but he will not be modeling for Calvin Klein anytime soon. Wo.
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
"We just had our tongues out and would take any old slag down the coal hole for a quick one"-Keith Richards
No, this entry isn't about the groupie slurpy. As much as I'm a fan, and have forsaken my pride for a ride from time to time, I just dig that quote from Keef and wanted to share it with you... HEY ARE YOU OUT THERE?! Let me say again that I can't sleep these days knowing that I let all my loyal readers down by not blog belching for a good 2 weeks. I see that the average viewer now logs on here for like .2 seconds b/c he/she sees that it's all old crap. I'm not immune to this. I probably would have "squoze" out a lit-shit from time to time over those 2 weeks if this Goddamn blog thing wasn't so unruly. I ask you (yeah, you): does anyone else out there have the same problem I do if you want to change old entries? Everytime I log into the blog I have to cut/past the changes (I made ions ago) to my main "snot" title, as well as a P-Diddy entry I did like when I was twelve that keeps reverting to it's original state. It's a drag, and has almost made me feel like scrapping this whole thing... but thanks to the overwhelming encouraging fanmail I've gotten from one-legged nymphos in Saskatchawan telling me to keep on pressing on (yeah, right), I'm here today... So, I've got a few beefs... God, I love that saying, who came up with it? I got some beefs, yo, I got a beef wichew! Yeh, dasright, BEEF, not no pawk loin or chiken fingahs or filet o' sole or nuna that shit, BEEF, %100 percent grade-A roast of ribbing, chuckaluck mig-non style bay-bee!... F*ck, I forgot what it was...
Vincent Gallo, skyboxin' with Rick Ocasek, gettin' a Brown Bunny hummer from Chloe Sevigny (damn has she let herself go in real life, how does she look so damn good in reel life?). I met Vin-spento once, well, didn't really meet him, saw him, and was appalled at his pretentiousness (he was head to toe "electric horseman"). I happen to be a huge fan of Buffalo '66, but that doesn't mean I could ever like this guy. It's like the actor Michael Shannon, too damn ugly and cool for school-aw, I'm weeping, thinking of kids gettin' punch drunk on their heads in middle school. Hell, that happened to me, but I didn't become a DICK. The bottom line with Gallo is that this guy calls himself a conservative Republican-alright then, go stump for Bush-like he'd give you the time of day?! Vinny m'boy, he'd think you were a drag queen alien wimpshit commie. So what's the point, Mr. "Provocateur" of provoking us by saying stuff that just makes you sound like an idiot? True, bleeding Tim Robbins-types make me ill too, but you make no sense. I'd think you were way cooler if you said that Bush was a nazi and that you got Chloe to suck you off b/c you wanted a blowjob from her, not b/c the film had to have a real nub-scrub because it's "art" and that's what art films have. Then, furthermore, to deny that that scene is why people are into the film is just plain, well, denial. "Long after I'm dead, which is any day now" you say?... give me a break Gallo, you rich fake talented fuck...
I'm gonna have to leave this entry in a minute before the Blog-a-m'gogue refreshes itself and I lose all my quite unfresh thoughts that I just wrote for you, but first, an entreaty to the girl from Morningwood: ok, so your bangin' everybody, but you haven't banged anybody until you've banged me...
Will someone tell me what the Gotti kids( Bruno Boy, Ol' Vic and Luigi I think are their names)are like on TV, b/c I haven't had the time to check that shit out (I don't watch TV, except for when the Yankees and Red Sox brawl)...
Did anyone else enjoy the NY Sunday Post's exclusive "The Perfect Summer Panties" article a few weeks back as much as I did? Pubic hair apparently not, b/c i haven't heard anything about it. Then again, if I did, it probably would have been reported all wrong, liek when Devo Jerry Casale's shlong fell out of his drawers and it was reported that his "drawstring pants gave way, and he didn't have a free hand to pull (them) back up"... like he kept playing with his pants down? He's not Iggy, and wasn't getting jiggy, he didn't even know that his sack was flapping in the wind from his shorts. you'd think that with all the people who saw it that a major paper would have reported it as it was... anyway, I don't care...
Last thoughts: Miller Beer has no Black rockers on their commemorative cans for 50 years of R&R. Who cares? Are people really crushed by this? Yes, it was a dumb mistake to exclude black performers, but this is beer, and Miller beer for that matter...
Oh,I almost forgot:
Rollo is playing at the old Cooler, some place called Rare Thursdays, tonight at 11pm for $6. It's at 416 west 14th Street, and we won't be on any Miller beer cans there... also, come see LIVE COVERAGE at the Fringe, it's funny, and I'm good.
Vincent Gallo, skyboxin' with Rick Ocasek, gettin' a Brown Bunny hummer from Chloe Sevigny (damn has she let herself go in real life, how does she look so damn good in reel life?). I met Vin-spento once, well, didn't really meet him, saw him, and was appalled at his pretentiousness (he was head to toe "electric horseman"). I happen to be a huge fan of Buffalo '66, but that doesn't mean I could ever like this guy. It's like the actor Michael Shannon, too damn ugly and cool for school-aw, I'm weeping, thinking of kids gettin' punch drunk on their heads in middle school. Hell, that happened to me, but I didn't become a DICK. The bottom line with Gallo is that this guy calls himself a conservative Republican-alright then, go stump for Bush-like he'd give you the time of day?! Vinny m'boy, he'd think you were a drag queen alien wimpshit commie. So what's the point, Mr. "Provocateur" of provoking us by saying stuff that just makes you sound like an idiot? True, bleeding Tim Robbins-types make me ill too, but you make no sense. I'd think you were way cooler if you said that Bush was a nazi and that you got Chloe to suck you off b/c you wanted a blowjob from her, not b/c the film had to have a real nub-scrub because it's "art" and that's what art films have. Then, furthermore, to deny that that scene is why people are into the film is just plain, well, denial. "Long after I'm dead, which is any day now" you say?... give me a break Gallo, you rich fake talented fuck...
I'm gonna have to leave this entry in a minute before the Blog-a-m'gogue refreshes itself and I lose all my quite unfresh thoughts that I just wrote for you, but first, an entreaty to the girl from Morningwood: ok, so your bangin' everybody, but you haven't banged anybody until you've banged me...
Will someone tell me what the Gotti kids( Bruno Boy, Ol' Vic and Luigi I think are their names)are like on TV, b/c I haven't had the time to check that shit out (I don't watch TV, except for when the Yankees and Red Sox brawl)...
Did anyone else enjoy the NY Sunday Post's exclusive "The Perfect Summer Panties" article a few weeks back as much as I did? Pubic hair apparently not, b/c i haven't heard anything about it. Then again, if I did, it probably would have been reported all wrong, liek when Devo Jerry Casale's shlong fell out of his drawers and it was reported that his "drawstring pants gave way, and he didn't have a free hand to pull (them) back up"... like he kept playing with his pants down? He's not Iggy, and wasn't getting jiggy, he didn't even know that his sack was flapping in the wind from his shorts. you'd think that with all the people who saw it that a major paper would have reported it as it was... anyway, I don't care...
Last thoughts: Miller Beer has no Black rockers on their commemorative cans for 50 years of R&R. Who cares? Are people really crushed by this? Yes, it was a dumb mistake to exclude black performers, but this is beer, and Miller beer for that matter...
Oh,I almost forgot:
Rollo is playing at the old Cooler, some place called Rare Thursdays, tonight at 11pm for $6. It's at 416 west 14th Street, and we won't be on any Miller beer cans there... also, come see LIVE COVERAGE at the Fringe, it's funny, and I'm good.
Friday, August 13, 2004
Lethargic shleppers only arts grub jam
... the nitty's gotta wait. I will try to fill you all in sometime this weekend though about Maine, "the way life should be", their southern flea markets, driving, driving and more driving, being an "older brother" figure to young hotties who can't seem to not let others look up their dresses, faulty reports about flying Devo boners, No more Garciapara, Tyson the twig, rehersing with 51 yr old ex-beauty queen stewardesses who love guys with poney tails, slinging margaritas until I'm sweating tequila, exploding shellac in the face, impenetrable DMVs and the Xmas tit lights on the SE corner of Bowery and Houston in my next enrty in the blog dragon.
A Long day's journey into an even longer day still
Ok, so it's been a while. site meter says that I may have lost all those that were consistantly reading "snot" over the 2 weeks that I've failed to entry-tain the ideas that had made this blog the runaway success that it's never been. Unbelieveable that here it is Friday the 13th of August and this is my first rant of the month. I've got so much to talk about that I don't even know here to start. The only way to do one of these things is do it like you light up; the feeligns just gotta come on and then it's too late to turn back-and suddenly among the throngs of the young hacking a lunger full of dung out of hunger from the tongue. Before I try to dislodge some dis from my memory of my last 2 weeks lost, I have a couple o' announcements for you (are you there?):
Tonight, Friday the 13th, I the musician am playing with my ultra-band Rollo (www.rollo-ny.com) at Trash in Billyburg, and I urge you all to follow me down to mash the jillyglurg with the multitudes of villyslurg that'll be rawkin'. Trash is located at 256 Grand Street, b/w Driggs and Roebling-you just take the L train to Bedford and walk a few blocks in hipstervile until you here the pied piper of Rollo. We're set to roll at 10pm-ish, and there'll be some other fine bandersnatchers there to rip it up as well b4 and after: Bolero, Junkface, Walk Humongous and The Bosol...
Sunday night at 945pm, I, the actor, will be actoring in a hilarious new spot-on, topical Fring Fest play called "Live Coverage". It's being put on by project 7, and the other showtimes are: Wed 8/18 @ 3pm, Fri 8/20 @ 945pm, Wed 8/25 @ 445pm and Sun 8/29 @ Noon. The venue is the Access Theatre, located at 380 Broadway, on the 4th Fl. (just 2 blocks south o' Canal Street). "Live Coverage" is the most trusted name in satire, and is a play about Women, Iraq, the Media and Camels. For tix, go to www.fringenyc.org, or call 212-279-4488...
I will now close this entry and get on to the nitty.
Tonight, Friday the 13th, I the musician am playing with my ultra-band Rollo (www.rollo-ny.com) at Trash in Billyburg, and I urge you all to follow me down to mash the jillyglurg with the multitudes of villyslurg that'll be rawkin'. Trash is located at 256 Grand Street, b/w Driggs and Roebling-you just take the L train to Bedford and walk a few blocks in hipstervile until you here the pied piper of Rollo. We're set to roll at 10pm-ish, and there'll be some other fine bandersnatchers there to rip it up as well b4 and after: Bolero, Junkface, Walk Humongous and The Bosol...
Sunday night at 945pm, I, the actor, will be actoring in a hilarious new spot-on, topical Fring Fest play called "Live Coverage". It's being put on by project 7, and the other showtimes are: Wed 8/18 @ 3pm, Fri 8/20 @ 945pm, Wed 8/25 @ 445pm and Sun 8/29 @ Noon. The venue is the Access Theatre, located at 380 Broadway, on the 4th Fl. (just 2 blocks south o' Canal Street). "Live Coverage" is the most trusted name in satire, and is a play about Women, Iraq, the Media and Camels. For tix, go to www.fringenyc.org, or call 212-279-4488...
I will now close this entry and get on to the nitty.
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