Vent.

I just need to vent today. Been years since I have used this space for things not politics. Yes, we're having our Kakistocracy and eating it too, all hell is breaking loose on the sex harassment front and WWIII is imminent, but I have a life to live and it's getting harder to fucking live it. I feel like i'm being ripped apart by the elements at light speed, heart attack City here. Can't afford to live can't afford to die. Today, was a shit day. The kind of day when I'm reminded that I'm not really living, and definitely not living my life. I felt pushed and pulled every which way. It started out with a raging toothache -this after spending over a $1000 on oral surgery a week ago, thankfully "only" owing 20% of that- walking out of my apt. to find my c--t of a next door neighbor had kicked over my dooremat, which I'd taped down, yet again. Mind you, this childish imbecile bitch has been doing that EVERY DAY for almost 2 years now...??? I only taped it down recently as I'd had, well, let's say more than enough. Maybe the day was carrying over from the experience I had last night where I was at movie and received a call with 20 minutes left to it to participate in a focus group. Naturally, in my impoverished state I had to take the call. $100 is like a million to me these days. So I answered the 20 questions asked for a 2nd time and missed the end of the film only to hear from her "You're a good fit, but we've filled our quota"... why the fuck put me through that then? Answering the same questions I'd already asked online to boot, all the same. I gave it to her on the phone saying "I just missed the end of this film, don't fucking call me if you're over fucking quota!" So, today... I then have a good audition for a regional play; a play I don't want to do cuz it pays shit and will take up months but beggars can't be choosers or snoozers, and then a costume fitting for yet another short, one I do want to do but one that's kinda been driving me crazy with their over-marketing on Facebook, though they're supposed to be paying me more than the avg. short, and then, I head home to shave and change and then go to a TV audition -something that comes around for me about as much as a solar eclipse happens- only to be told AFTER I'd started not to do an accent, even though I'd prepared one AS THAT'S WHAT IT SAID ON THE FUCKING CHARACTER DESCRIPTION IN THE EMAIL. It unnerved me, and, well I sucked. A roles made for me I delivered with no confidence as I was thrown. i cannot afford to have this happen man. Who's fault it this? Well, seeing that I got an email earlier that I was being considered for another role in a new show shooting out of town but my agent said I was 5'5" (I'm 6'1"), I have to blame in on my Reps. Now, I know they're doing shit fast, as we all are, and mistakes are made, like the Dotard cut-pasting a response to the latest massacre, and every fucking bg casting post that fills up my inbox with the wrong date and/or for a young black female amputee who's a real doctor and has a period car, but don't fuck with me personally like this man. I spend two whole days perfecting that British accent when I didn't need to do one? My time is important, my life is dwindling, I do everything right and expect nothing less but the same from others, kapeesh? Instead I feel walked all over, chewed up, spit out, what have you. Honestly, I can't take it anymore. I deserve better than this and when I get it, or IF I get it, I ain't holding back like so many others who sit on their wealth and fame. Fuck that shit, let it ride baby, I'm ready to fight. Been fighting all my life and if I'm a contender I'm gonna make those moments in the ring COUNT.... Aaaaargh. I know that all sounds like hot headed egotistical bs, but I'm at the end of my rope with EVERYTHING man, what can I say? Uncle? I am one already. The best too.

"Yes" -Elizabeth Warren

The truth hurts. Just as the fact that “power corrupts” has been sadly swept under the rug recently in the wake of the much needed sexual harassment culture exposure (couldn’t we be talking about both?), so has the problem us Dems need to address if we ever want to win again. Can’t we discuss it all without f—king killing each other? Those of us working our asses off just to survive, don’t we know who the real enemy is? Corporations have similar if not more rights than individuals these days and those with influence ($$$) make or break the careers and lives of “regular folk”... um. All the denial, infighting, scapegoating and beating around the bush is only making corruption worse. Acknowledgement that maybe the problem is deeper then we want to believe, is a first step. Clinton was anointed and flawed. Sanders knew she stole it but stood by her knowing Orange was/is the Antichrist. There’s a deep systemic corruption problem in this country, and people who want to deny that and that this happened in our party and repeat without rinsing are doomed for more Orange. Sanders could have won the whole thing in my opinion, he was talking the same (but real) populist talk that resonated with the people. Of course, there’s the Russian element, so we never really know. The Russians did not want Clinton, so draw your own conclusions. Russian involvement too is a different level of corruption, as its one thing to have it within our walls but an outsider stepping in is a serious biz of its own that needs to be addressed and not to be compared. Back to the Dems: time to move on but Warren admitting this is necessary if we ever are going to. I hope she runs, if not, then Sanders and/or Biden (who is not as centrist as Hillary). We need a genuine ideology on the left not some more Reagan Democratic soft core bs to interest all the disenfranchised and angry voters. As for the sex harassment thing, we’re dancing around the fact that it’s power that’s corrupted all the individuals we’ve mentioned. Power corrupts not only sexually, but mentally and economically. Clinton was corrupt, but not to the degree of Trump. We need to realize that she was though at least to some extent to understand. We need to change the whole ball of wax not keep dancing around on the surface. Corruption is rampant everywhere in the US. In NY, in politics, in the entertainment biz, etc, and we elected the cream of the corrupt crop yet seem prepared to do it all over again through or own stubbornness, blindness, lack of foresight and lack of empathy. We need to look in the mirror. It's important to realize what happened. Bad timing you say? Well when is good timing? We need a good candidate. If we dont learn from this and it takes down Warren within our party then we don't deserve to win. Reading people's thoughts on this from both camps it seems that that is what's happening, more of the same infighting, which is so "sad". That wasn't Warren's intent in saying "yes." Sanders focus always has been on helping people and then making sure Trump isn't president. That should be the focus of the Democratic party, not our egos. Warren wasn't calling for an investigation, just saying this happened. it should bring the party together not fray it more considering that Sanders soldiered on in support of Clinton. I choose to focus on Trump and the added corruption of the Russians but not deny the corruption we have at home. This would've come out in 2020, I guess many though would rather it come out then. Yes, another distraction for Captain Orange and his evil crew to capitalize on, but that's all it is. That and a chance for the Dems to face reality and hopefully come together. Cuz by Jetisoning Ellison and others like him recently it seems we'd rather repeat our mistakes over and over like a Sci-Fi film. I think Warren may have been giving the party a wake up call...