I'd rather be a camel driver in Morocco then a swine herder in Castillo

Don't ask...

ok, little time to write, but backed up like a mofo. Getting my new band together (yet again), hoping I don't fall into the same trap of trusting ass holes. Band divorces as you know, are fucking hell, and don't give me that "there's been no fluids exchanged crap", money changes hands w/in bands quicker then with any signif other, and we do share mics in the rehersal room...

Not what I wanted to talk about here. Nor do I want to spend much time on a liver sport report. The Yanx are celler dweelers and I don't care that the Sawx are in 2nd b/c... the Yanx are celler dwellers. Here's a quote though from the always quotable Dave "Big Papi" Ortiz-glad he's comin' around and not dwelling on Petey Martinez's unsavory exit from the AL anymore-this came during a turning point game for Boston recently after he drove in Trotsky Nixon: "I was just praying to get a hit man. I haven't got a hit in a long time, it's been tough up there man. My part of the game is hitting, if I don't hit it's like I'm just stealing money"... I'm happy that I minly stick to baseball as a fan. No matter what kind of roid barry Bonds muscles into his butt cheet or gamma radiated flaxseed cream that he rubson his coctail peanut sized scrotum the wrong way, the sport doesn't have a Shaq to contend with. The puny human Nets stood no chance in hell against the Miami monster. they were so frightenend in their air jordans that when Shaqzilla wasn't clobberin' and Wade had been stayed they were still Vince-able... poor Carter. Makes you think that had Shaq been on the attack when his Airness was rulin' the court that the Bulls might not have won as much as they did. O'Neal, cross-eyed monster or not, is well-deserved of being right up there with Wilt Chamberlin as the 2 greatest big men of all time, hands down. Jordan had those rare air leadership qualities, no doubt, combined w/ a tendancy for 50 pt. playoff games, but intimidation's a factor in Basketball more than any other sport. You got 5 guys to hold 'em, not 9...

I really have to split now, but will leave you with some Succinct Celebrity Reviews from my first-hand viewing as a F**king server at the Chanel Costume Ball last week at the Met:

Marylyn Manson-will make a smoothe transision to circus clown

P Diddy-has his bodyguard go to the john with him

Russel Simmons-take the baseball cap off, you're wearing a tux

Linda Evangelista-gorgeous hawk lady

Richard Gere-sports same squinty-eyed hamster look as ever, white hair or not

Andree 3000-def. regretted wearing the same outfit as us waiters (though we didn't have a yarmulka on.. what was with that?) Nice (short) guy though.

Mary Kate and Ashley Olson- didn't eat (surprise surprise), but neither did Jake Gylenhall (who was larger then those two flyin' monkey lookin' chicks put together)

Vanessa Paradise-looks like a junkie, or at least like she was a junkie

Karl Lagerfield-lose the silver gloves gramps

Naomi Watts-poor woman's Nicole Kidman

Kevin Costner-I got him 2 glasses of milk

Lauren Bush-plain and lovin' tevery minute of fame she shouldn't have

Jimmy Fallon-ditto, but sorta funny at least (not so sure about that actually, what's funny is that he actually is considered to be a romantic lead in a film? Who's runnin' this show?)


More to come...